I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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