yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize