Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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