you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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