She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
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But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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