Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We don't watch enough power rangers
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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