its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
