this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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