it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
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He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
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And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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