she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
