So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
