this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
