Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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