And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
