you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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