One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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