I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
