Too much gin, very little bucket
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
