Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
