Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm passing your future prison.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
