well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
