Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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