So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
