What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So much rum. So many feels.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
