End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
this will be a night to untag.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
