Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
