One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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