She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
