Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
