You smell like a Billy Joel song
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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