its not stalking. its research.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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