On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
