...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i was born a porn star she said
My underwear smells like fireworks.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
This is my gift to your gina
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
