is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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