their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We're too hungover to prance.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
