stop calling my apartment porn island.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
