i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Enjoy the penises
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
