if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
