If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
