Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
