Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
even my farts smell like vagina
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
