I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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