After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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