Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
