Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
