just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
