Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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