do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
