Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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