If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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