I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
