Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
