told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
