I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
