I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
he thought i was a dude.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize