She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
