Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
