Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
